14 Bad SEC Football Jokes - So Awful Only a Dad Would Laugh
At every tailgate party there's always that one person cracking really bad jokes. Here's 14 bad jokes you may hear at your next football gathering that only a Dad might find funny.
Did you hear that the Vanderbilt football team doesn’t have a website? They can’t string three “W’s” together.
Ole Miss Coach Lane Kiffin is only going to dress half his players for the first game of the season, the other half will have to dress themselves.
What does the average Auburn player get on his SATs? Drool.
An Arkansas football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback riding incident. He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death. Fortunately the manager of the Walmart came out and unplugged the horse.
How many Mississippi State Bulldogs does it take to change a tire? One, unless it’s a blowout. In which case, the whole team shows up.
How can you tell if a Kentucky Wildcat Football fan has brought his wife to the tailgate party? There’s tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
How do you get a former Tennessee football player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
What do you call a genius sitting in the Texas A&M student section? A visitor.
What do the Missouri Tigers and possums have in common? Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.
What do you call 12 Florida Gator fans in the basement? A whine cellar.
What does a Georgia Bulldog fan and a beer bottle have in common? They’re both empty from the neck up.
LSU Coach Ed Orgeron on his Tiger team: They don’t know the meaning of “fear” but then again they don’t know a lot of words.
What’s the difference between the South Carolina Gamecocks and a dollar bill? You can still get 4 quarters out of a dollar bill.
Did you hear about the Alabama fan whose wife left him because she said he cared more about football than their marriage? He says she was completely wrong and doesn't understand why she left him after 7 seasons.
90 percent of Americans don’t eat enough fruits & vegetables each week. 80 percent of us don’t eat enough fish weekly. Our less-than-perfect diets leave many of us falling short on getting the vital nutrients our body needs. That’s why I created Planet 3 Vitamin Packs. Our premium vitamin packs deliver a wide spectrum of nutrients.
If you currently take vitamins, I’d like for you to try our vitamin packs for ALMOST FREE. I say almost free because I’m going to charge you $5. That covers shipping costs. I’m so confident that once you try our premium vitamin packs, you’re going to be like our other customers who make them a part of their daily routine.
By the way. When you buy Planet 3 Vitamin Packs you’re supporting a small business. Our products are manufactured in the USA. But don’t buy our premium vitamin packs just because we are an American company, buy our products because they are high quality. Each daily pack contains a premium multivitamin plus Vitamin C, Vitamin D, Zinc, Biotin, Magnesium, Lutein, Vitamin B12, a sustainably sourced Omega-3 Fish Oil capsule that is enteric coated...meaning it won't taste or smell "fishy" and other key nutrients.
Here's some legal info I need let you know about. This offer is only available one per customer and also limited to one per household. Our goal is to get the product into the hands of people who are currently taking vitamins. Once you try our premium vitamin packs, you'll find that they're awesome and you'll likely become a regular customer...If you don't become a regular customer, we will be happy you gave our product a try.
Have an awesome week!
~ Douglas Mott, President Planet 3 Vitamins
P.S. You'll notice we feature our customers in our product ads. If you end up loving our product, feel free to send us any feedback and/or pictures.